How Do You Define Success?

Every individual has a different definition of success. As you go through the coaching process of identifying what your goals are and how you would go about achieving them in a step-by-step manner you often find that your desire or yearning brings you closer to the talents you were innately born. When you begin to peel back the layers of dissatisfaction, much like you would when peeling back the rough, dirty exterior of a vidalia onion—you will see there is a fresh sweetness to your inner passions and purpose for life. You work past and through your fears to a state of living where there is a balance of work and play. Stress levels go down, you embody Joie de Vivre, and your excitement for life is contagious again.

There comes a point in a coaching relationship where your coach may ask if the goals you are setting for yourself are ego-driven or something deeper. When your goals are tied into fulfilling your passions they are generally linked in to how you can use your talents to contribute back to the communities that are important to you in your life. Ask yourself:

  • What really interests me?
  • What do I get fired up about when I see injustices being done?
  • What lessons have I learned from my setbacks?
  • When I thought I was going in one direction and that door closed—what door opened?
  • If I had all the time in the world, what would I like to do best with and for other people?

When people make shallow goals they often find dissatisfaction and resistance to obtaining what they think they need or want. A more well-rounded way to establish successful goals is to tie those goals to our gifts, talents, and abilities. It is then our lives become fulfilled and purpose-driven, because we are connected into building up a community that is more than just our petty wants or materialistic desires.

“Comparison is the enemy of contentment.” –Kenneth Boa

Materialistic goals are typically ego-driven. A good coach will help you identify how to divorce your desire from your ego, so that when you are setting up your 90-Day Action Plans to achieve your goals—the goals are coming from a genuine place of fulfilling the vision you have of yourself at your very best potential. As you pull out what you will be doing on a daily basis that will enable you to share your talents today…you just may find that your definition of success is clarified.

Even if you have set quantitative and monetary aims, instead of the goals being driven by pride, self-aggrandizement, or recognition, they will be focused on how your strengths will be giving back and connecting you in to make the world you live in a better place. You will then turn from the fear and resistance your ego has been throwing up to hinder you from achieving your absolute potential. Instead, your actions and decisions will be coming from your genuine self. It is in this reframing of how you are living your life, you will find that success has always been here as long as you spend most of your day in the activities that are your talents to share.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

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