The key to life is resiliency. Our ability to dust our knees off, figure out how we fell, and how we can prevent ourselves from falling over that exact same log again is part of the equation. The other part is being able to analyze how we ended up with a different result than we intended, and how to grow from this learning opportunity.
“It takes sixty-five thousand errors before you are qualified to make a rocket.”
–Werhner von Braun
As I found the two quotes for this article, I had to struggle with whether or not I even saw setbacks as failures. Part of my resistance is because I chose early in life to see everything as a growth opportunity. When I’d fall off my bike, I’d get back on. Lesson: don’t ride head-on into a curb it will rise to meet you. As a military child, I’d notice if I was a little too introverted at one school, then when we’d move to another school and I’d put my fears aside and work at being more extroverted. As a result I was class president one year, vice president the next, varsity lettered in 4 sports, and bounced through 4 high schools, became a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, and then a Marine Corps officer. I survived 25 plus moves and we’re still counting the moves for my husband’s military career. That’s why when I say the key to life is resiliency, I say this because we are always growing and changing. Change is our only constant reality. Regardless if you live in the same place your whole life, or move around and start over each move like me—the satisfaction, zest for life, success, and joy in life is in embracing this constant state of change and renewal.
If you are having trouble finding committed relationships or in pursuing a goal to completion. We’ve all been there. The way you move through and past whatever fear block you’ve thrown in your way is to learn new skills and then try them out. You won’t know if they work until you use them and see for yourself if it works for you.
“Any many can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
–Marcus Tullius Cicero
The only way to cope better with the downs (and ups) is to increase our resiliency skills. This is done through:
(1) Learning more assertive communication,
(2) Being able to use emotions as an intuitive tool to indicate when you or someone else is out of sync with harmony, and
(3) Understanding another’s point of view through gender intelligence.
Along the way you pick up more insight and awareness to what really matters to you, what you’re passionate about, and how you can align yourself with people and places that will enable you to realize your dreams.
If you are stuck making the same mistakes the way you learn is by seeking out new interpretations and answers. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable you let in the possibility of others helping you grow. In letting new ideas and people into your life you gain a new way or friend that arms you for the next setback. Leaning temporarily on others who have the knowledge, experience, and compassion can spur your growth faster than going it alone. Coaches in this way are phenomenal, because they are right there with you and your fear. Learning how to work past the resistance to try again or try something new is a beautiful journey with success as part of the process.
What is so exciting about rising from failure is that over time, as you learn how to grow from setbacks; you learn that as one door is closing, another will always be opening. And the quicker you see a door closing and embrace the closure instead of resisting it, there is less pain, the setback can be more objectively seen as a growth opportunity (and not an attack on you or your ego). This always leads to a better reinvention of you and how you are able to connect and respond more intimately with all those people and things you care about. Success is yours if you are willing to embrace and grow from what’s holding you back from experiencing your absolute potential.